June 2013
we moved houses like a year ago and my mom found the garage opener to our old house today so we drove to the house to see if it would work and we saw the new owners working in the garage and we sat there opening and closing their garage for like 10 minutes and they were getting so scared they probably think satan is in their house and im laighinf so hard
shout out to slugs for doing everything a snail does without a helmet
so i went to put on my deodorant when i noticed something on the back. the word “ATOMIC” caught my eye so i was like hold up what am i rubbing on my pits
awesome
“The lesson for today is know what you’re gonna get at a fast food place. If you go to Subway, you’re probably gonna get a sub. If you go to McDonald’s, you’re probably gonna get a delicious Big Mac, and if you go to Pizza Hut, you’re probably gonna get a pizza. So WHY, FOR TEN FREAKING MINUTES, did the lady in front of me argue with the Subway manager over why she couldn’t get hummus on her sub? BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE IT! There’s all these meats, cheeses, and vegetables to pick from! People come in, expecting special orders… No meat, gluten free, are there cashews in that, I’m allergic to bread… Are you allergic to fist? Because you’re about to get one free of charge.”
—local radio host (via moshingracingoperating)
i dont date in high school because no one is rich yet so whats the point
Yeah, that’s EXACTLY why I didn’t date in high school… lets use that one…
tragedyinremission:
Do you ever just meet one person
and at first it is awkward
then you start talking
and its like
“holy shit where have you been all my life”
Yep, Erin!!
Someone should pull a prank on Justin Bieber where he goes somewhere crowded and they hire a bunch of teenage girls to pretend they don’t know who he is and just see how pissed off he gets
I like the way you think.
If I were a teenager I would do it.
